i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
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I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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