none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
