I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It was confusing and full of hummus
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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