If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
