its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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