New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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