I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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