My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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