Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
