I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
