I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
