yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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