He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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