She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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