"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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