Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My bed smells like the plague
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
