Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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