I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
