he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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