This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
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chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
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Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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