Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
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I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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