fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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