i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
