How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
