Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
