I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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