So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
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is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
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I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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