I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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