I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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