Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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