He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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