True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So vagazzling was a success
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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