Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
50% drunk capacity currently
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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