i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
