i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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