Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans