just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.