No stitches, just platelets and will power
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
