I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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