I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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