Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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