I seem to have left my pride at pride
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
