You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
