i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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