so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
