So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
