No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I believe in your delicious
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
