umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've blown a few things in my day
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
