HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She bit a glass in half.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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