The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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