8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
