Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
