There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
