He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize