Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
