Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.