Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
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Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
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It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.