had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
