I bet he comes in French.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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