Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
