it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I want to make a zoo with you.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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