I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I am available for nakedness
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
