with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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