Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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