I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
