i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
