i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
