lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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